Introducing Cookimonsterette


23 August 2017 (updated 28 Feb 2023)

A mental illness bomb went off in my life.  After that happened it took time to heal.  It took time to re-learn and find my footing.  Now I can tell people that I am: A wife to an amazing husband.  Working, homeschooling mom to seven children.  Returned missionary for my the LDS church.  Project Senior Manager MSAT for a pharmaceutical company.  Chemical Engineer.  Choir Pianist, Compassionate Service Leader and Primary Substitute.  Corporate church apostate. Member of the Remnant fellowship Little Zion Hesed.  Author of the website, Face Toward Zion.  I am also bipolar and that's ok.

More importantly I can tell people:  I have a testimony of God as my loving Father in Heaven and He is intimately involved in my life.  I have a testimony of Jesus Christ as my personal savior and the Messiah of all mankind.  I have a testimony of the Holy Ghost and have learned through my hard experience to distinguish His voice from confusion.  I have a testimony of the restored gospel, the prophet Joseph Smith and the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.

I pray now constantly.  For myself.  For other people.  For wisdom.  For guidance. Most often to stay grounded.  And I check myself constantly.  Visions of grandeur are met with, "I'm not THAT important.  I am important to my family".  Impressions I'm not sure about are carefully inspected and passed through Husband's filter.  I recognize my own frailties and limitation and most importantly the need for me to get enough sleep.

Cookies are sweet, but they also crumble.  And boy didn't I feel like I was falling apart. During my crisis, felt I had lost my identity. 

Cookiemonsterette is beautiful, kind and sweet, but she is also fierce. 

Cookiemonsterette is a name I chose more than 15 years ago as a companion to Husband's ih8mud handle, Cookiemonster. 

I now re-claim my identity and I'm not afraid to share my story or who I am.



I am a Tiger. I have the stripes to prove it.  I am a mother in Zion facing toward Zion.  I am a princess who has been saved by the King of Kings.  I have on the Whole Armor of God.  I am only strong because I keep myself on the LORD's side and HE gives me strength.

28 Feb 2023 Update:
Getting to a grounded place with my feet underneath turned out to be a short reprieve from the next round of chaos.  Breaking down my pride and some of the false traditions and beliefs I didn't know I had was an important prerequisite to God taking me on the next rollercoaster ride through hell.  Or rather waking up to realize things I had been lied about to find myself in hell.  January 2018....That's another story.

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