Within the last two days I have written or started seven blog posts. It's been amazing. And exhausting. I've cried more times than I can count and I haven't even gotten to the worst of it yet. But I'm making progress. It's helping.
Laying in my bed I held baby Sam's hand as I put him to down for a nap. I fell asleep too, too exhausted to keep my eyes open anymore. Two hours later I woke up feeling as if only 15 minutes had passed. The emotional exhaustion is still there. It's deep down inside where I now feel raw. But some of my smaller demons are gone. I have small twinkling stars shining above me where a complete void used to be.
Admitting this has my face in a free flow of water down my cheeks. Maybe if I keep this stupid top hat on my family won't notice.
They're all mad that I'm using the computer to blog instead of letting them play mindless hours of minecraft.
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